Holiday Scoreboard!

We haven't done a Scoreboard posting in a while, so lets do that before we review "The Fighter" and "Locked In" later this week.

We've recently decided to add a "Boston Documentary" category. If they seem to score higher than their fictional counterparts... just remember, we have a lot of PBS fans around here.

Here are the latest rankings. As always, we grade on a curve:

BOSTON MADE MOVIES

A..... The Departed

A..... Jaws

A-.... A Civil Action

A-.... The Friends of Eddie Coyle

A-.... Gone Baby Gone

A-.... Good Will Hunting

A-.... Shutter Island

B+.... Black Irish

B+.... Mystic River

B+.... School Ties

B...... Blown Away

B...... The Boondock Saints

B...... Edge of Darkness

B...... Love Story

B...... Monument Ave

B...... The Thomas Crown Affair

B-..... 21

B-..... The Invention of Lying

B-.... The Proposal

C+.... Surrogates

C...... The Bostonians

C...... The Maiden Heist

C...... Paul Blart: Mall Cop

C-..... Alex & Emma

C-..... The Box

C-..... Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past

C-..... What's The Worst That Could Happen

D+.... Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

D+.... My Best Friend's Girl

D...... What Doesn't Kill You

D-..... Bride Wars

D-..... Furry Vengeance

D-..... The Women

F....... The Pink Panther 2

"DEFINITELY NOT MADE IN BOSTON" BOSTON MOVIES

(you cheap bastards!)

B-.... Daisy Kenyon

B-.... Practical Magic

D-.... Knowing

BOSTON DOCUMENTARIES

A-.... Standard Operating Procedure

B...... High On Crack Street

B...... Overnight

(click the links on the sidebar for our reviews of each film)

The Golden Globes and The State of Massachusett

The Golden Globe nominees were announced yesterday, and several Boston movies had a strong showing. They include multiple nominees for "The Fighter", "The Social Network", and "The Town".

If the Golden Globes serve as major clues to whom might receive Oscars, this is a very good sign. In fact, Boston movies might actually win more Academy Awards than Razzie Awards this season.

So things are looking up for film in New England, right? Wrong. With the threat to the film tax credit back in March, and the recent ousting of Nick Paleologos from the Mass Film Office, we had a terrible year. Other than some small, small budget indie flicks, there was 1 major movie shot here in 2010. That's it. Just 1. It was a rom-com starring Anna Farris... probably not awards material.

The Boston Globe did a nice job recapping the trouble with our state government and the film office in this article. The Boston P.A., and all the other out-of-work crew members are glad that the Globe took this stance. We need to bring the film jobs back to Massachusetts.

Movie Review: High On Crack Street (1995)

In anticipation of tomorrow's release of "The Fighter", it's as good a time as ever to discuss crackheads in Lowell.

In "The Fighter", you'll see Christian Bale playing former boxer Dicky Eklund -- who not-so-coincidentally is the real life star of the HBO documentary, "High On Crack Street: Lost Lives in Lowell." Dumb movie title, yes. Dumb movie? Absolutely not.

This documentary takes us into the actual crack houses. I watched it with a friend from Lowell, who kept commenting, "I know that street. I know that corner." Oh, nostalgia. The film follows Dicky and two other crack addicts as they try to break the habit. It's compelling, and heartbreaking, and probably way more effective than D.A.R.E.

Filmmakers Maryann DeLeo and Richard Farrall called on the talents of Emerson College professors and interns to film this footage. Image the permission slip on that field trip!

"I, _____, release Emerson College from all liability in the event that I get murdered in a crack den during the filming of this production. In perpetuity, in all medium, worldwide."

"High On Crack Street" is pretty interesting, if you can get your hands on a copy.

Final Score = B

Vegas, Baby, Blah!

Okay, we get it, enough.

"21" tells the story of MIT students counting cards and taking Vegas for millions. It also shows-not-tells that Boston sucks compared to Vegas. Las Vegas is Oz; we're Kansas. There, you get to be anyone, anything. You're throwing money around, wearing designer suits, and banging hot chicks. Here, you're stuck miserably walking alone through "wintery mix".

Or so the juxtaposition of shots in "21" would have you believe.

On behalf of the great city of Boston, I would like to say:

1) Coming home from Vegas sucks, no matter where you live, and,

2) Living in residential Vegas sucks most of all.

Alright, location tirade, over.

Meanwhile, "21" is an okay movie. The underdog hero falls in with a powerful crowd, gets corrupted, redeems himself, etc. It's based on a true story, and the book, "Bringing Down The House." We like Jim Sturgess as the lead, despite his weird accent. There are also some new characters that weren't in the book, namely a blond love interest. Overall, everybody's fine in the acting department. The soundtrack was a little underwhelming. What I really liked, though, were the clothes.

Considering the amount of trouble other Vegas movies delve into, this one stays pretty PG.

Final Score = B-

Creepy PAs

Having just rewatched "Boogie Nights", we would like to award Philip Seymour Hoffman some sort of prize. His portrayal of Scotty J is one of the creepiest PAs we have ever seen.

And we have seen some creepy PAs.

A Civil Action (1998)

"A Civil Action" is Boston's version of "Erin Brokovich". Based-on-a-true-story, a lawyer fights against big company polluters on behalf of working class people, and their leukemia-stricken children. This Boston lawyer has the Brokovich tenacity, but unfortunately is a greedy jerk. Oh well, it's still a good movie.

Every rising middle aged star from the 1990's makes an appearance in this film: post-"Fargo" William H. Macy, pre-"Sopranos" James Gandolfini, post-"Misery" Kathy Bates, pre-"Monk" Tony Shalhoub... the list goes on. John Travolta, post-"Pulp Fiction" miraculous comeback, stars as the arrogant but not quite competent lawyer who bankrupts his firm.

The real star, however, is Woburn. Dirty, dirty Woburn. The drinking water smells like a Disney park ride, and sometimes the river catches on fire, but you can't beat the location! Characters keep describing it as a quaint New England town. They clearly didn't see the strip malls. At least they pronounce the name correctly.

This movie is interesting, well-made, and true to life... which does make it a bit of a downer. Still, it's got a heart and a subtle sense of humor. If only they'd left out the line about Roger Clemens.

Final Score = A-

The Top 5 Things We Learned About College... from Boston Movies

We've been rewatching some movies in our recently abundant spare time (cough-unemployment-cough), and thought it worth mentioning Boston's second most cliche movie setting: College.

Boston has a shitload of institutes of higher learning. If Boston movie characters aren't cruising around Southie in a beat up car, then they're probably attending college classes somewhere. If it's a Matt Damon character, then he's cruising through Southie on the way to class.

THE TOP 5 THINGS WE LEARNED ABOUT COLLEGE... FROM BOSTON MOVIES

5) Nothing says Boston movie like a Harvard sweatshirt.

Boston has 17 colleges, but you'd never know it. All movie students commute across the river to Cambridge, a completely separate city, to attend Harvard. Or maybe MIT. They most certainly do not go to BU, Northeastern, BC, Emerson, or Suffolk.**

**The rare exceptions that we could think of are Matt Damon's character in "The Departed" (Suffolk), and the ex-girlfriend from the Facebook movie (BU). Still, it's sorta implied that they would've gone to Harvard if they could get in.

4) Professors are perverts.

Alec Baldwin's sleazy professor in "My Best Friend's Girl". Stellan Skarsgard's creepy math professor in "Good Will Hunting". Victor Garber's sexually harassing law professor in "Legally Blonde". Who said there was no easy A at Harvard? Just see the professor after class....

3) Janitors and homeless people are smarter than the students.

This might actually be true. While we're specifically referencing "Good Will Hunting" and "With Honors", there's also a real life example of this: BU once invited the late Mr. Butch, the homeless King of Allston, to give a lecture. Now that would have been a great movie scene!

2) We only have tiered lecture halls in Boston.

That way, when the professor makes a joke, smarmy laughter ripples uphill. The class always seats 200+ people. We don't know how to build a classroom any other way.

A little fun fact, by the way: If you're watching a Harvard movie, it probably was not filmed at Harvard. Ever since the crew of "Love Story" damaged property, the University hasn't let a film crew in their buildings.

Instead, we often shoot at BU or Suffolk, regardless of what the script says. No wonder all movie classes look the same.

Degenerates.

Ruined it for everyone.

1) These schools are incredibly easy to get into...

Especially if you're poor. There must be a "Compellingly Lower Class" box on the Harvard applications. Dead parent(s) and a chip on your shoulder? Make sure to include that when you apply!

Because nothing says "underdog" like going to Harvard.

xtra normal videos

Good afternoon, campers -

We've noticed the trend of anonymously posting work grievances through the animated site xtranormal.com. There have been ones made by the camera crew, locations, accounting, even the Teamsters have one up!

This passive aggressiveness isn't limited to film crew; my eye doctor posted Optometrist vs. Patient on his Facebook page. Everybody in the world hates dealing with stupid people at work.

Here are our PA relevant favorites thus far:

Background Production Assistant vs. Extra

...in which a PA tries to get an unruly Extra to come on set. As lowly as the PAs are on the crew, Extras get treated like stray dogs.

"You look like a clown prostitute. I don't care enough to change it, just get to set!"

Key Set Production Assistant vs. Production Coordinator

... in which the Key Set PA annoys the crap of the Production Coordinator. Somehow giving her a British accent makes this even more realistic.

Eco-Friendly Filming

Ignore the title of this post... film production is notoriously NOT ECO-FRIENDLY.

In an industry driven by $$, environmental concerns take the back seat to cutting costs, speeding up the process, etc. Crew members drink from plastic water bottles and abandon them at random around the set. We use entire trees copying script revisions. I've even been on sets where they don't have basic recycling for all the producers' Diet Coke cans. Yikes.

(Never mind the vehicle fuel used while idling the star car to keep it warm for the VIPs, hazmat regulations sometimes getting ignored when getting rid of paint and chemicals... it goes on)

Luckily, recent productions are changing their dirty ways. Many Disney/ABC productions have switched to the "Virtual Production Office". Instead of printing out multiple memos, schedules, oneliners, call sheets, etc., the Virtual Production Office keeps everything electronic. Good move, since honestly, nobody reads all those memos anyway.

Eco-actress Cameron Diaz bought the entire crew of "The Box" coffee mugs to keep refilling. Other shows have been making the move to reusable water bottles. This may add a new component to your PA duties: dishwasher. At least it's for the good of the planet.

Not-Boston Movie Review: Daisy Kenyon (1947)

We stumbled across this movie recently, and noticed that it partially takes place in Cape Cod. It's not filmed here of course -- somewhere in a LA studio lot, they brought in a lot of fake snow. But we wanted to mention it, albeit, briefly.

"Daisy Kenyon", we feel, is what would happen if you took Denis Leary's show "Rescue Me" and set it in the 1940s. No, there's no fire house, but hear us out.

In a movie making era with no nudity, and family-values fun for all, "Daisy Kenyon" deals with darker adult emotions. They can only hint at certain things, for censorship's sake. The movie touches themes of infidelity, WWII soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder, child abuse, assault, and endless drinking to sooth the pain. These dysfunctions, put through the 1940's film filter, still come out looking like a romantic comedy. However, beneath the merry surface, these people are not okay.

Should you watch this movie? Maybe not... it depends if you like older films. It's just interesting to see how they handled untouchable issues. Also, it stars Joan "Mommy Dearest" Crawford as the title character, and Henry Fonda.

Final Score = B-

Box office WIN / Movie attendance FAIL

"The Social Network" was the big winner at the box office this weekend... we unfortunately can't give you an update or review because it was completely sold out when we went. Even our backup plan to see "The Town" was thwarted... it too was sold out.

Even with a Sox-Yankees double header, Boston Movies do well in Boston.

Five Dollar Friday

I was recently trying to explain "Five Dollar Friday" to someone, who didn't quite get it.

At the end of each shooting week, we like to decorate a bucket for "Five Dollar Friday". One of the Set PAs (or, in this picture, Jackie Chan) carries it around, and collects $5 bills from the crew. People either write their name on a scrap of paper, or on the bill itself -- which is defacing currency, but that's neither here nor there....

In fact, if you ever wind up with a $5 bill with a name written in sharpie, it probably came off a film set.

Anyway, at the end of the day, one of the names is drawn -- and the winner gets the entire bucket of money. It's like winning a raffle -- and there can be quite a chunk of change in there. Good manners dictate that you tip the bucket carrier $20 or more, and if you go grab drinks after, the first round is on you.

Happy Friday!

Scoreboard!

Periodically, we post a scoreboard of all the movies we have reviewed thus far. Usually we save it for Fridays, but we have something else planned this week.

Here are the latest rankings (accompanied by a picture of Doyle's Pub, where almost half of the movies have a bar scene). As always, we grade on a curve:

A..... The Departed

A..... Jaws

A-.... The Friends of Eddie Coyle

A-.... Gone Baby Gone

A-.... Good Will Hunting

A-.... Shutter Island

A-.... Standard Operating Procedure

B+.... Black Irish

B+.... Mystic River

B+.... School Ties

B...... Blown Away

B...... The Boondock Saints

B...... Edge of Darkness

B...... Love Story

B...... Monument Ave

B...... Overnight

B...... The Thomas Crown Affair

B-..... The Invention of Lying

B-.... The Proposal

C+.... Surrogates

C...... The Bostonians

C...... The Maiden Heist

C...... Paul Blart: Mall Cop

C-..... Alex & Emma

C-..... The Box

C-..... Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past

C-..... What's The Worst That Could Happen

D+.... Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

D+.... My Best Friend's Girl

D...... What Doesn't Kill You

D-..... Bride Wars

D-..... Furry Vengeance

D-..... The Women

F....... The Pink Panther 2

And for Not-Made-In-Boston Movie Reviews:

B-.... Practical Magic

D-.... Knowing

(click the links on the sidebar for our reviews of each film)

Movie Review: Standard Operating Procedure (2008)

(You might have thought we were going to review "The Town" this week, considering it just won the weekend box office... but No! We'll get to it soon.)

Okay, you might be asking yourself why this site is reviewing Errol Morris's 2008 Abu Ghraib prison torture documentary, "Standard Operating Procedure"... after all, the subject matter entirely takes place in Iraq. Plus, it gets gruesome to watch -- not our usual light-hearted Kate Hudson fare.

It's a partially Boston-made documentary: Morris used the High Output studios in Canton to film some of the interviews, including the scandal's poster face: Lynndie England. Can you imagine casually running into her at the craft services table?

"Standard Operating Procedure" works through the Abu Gharaib scandal one photo at a time, breaking down the evolution of 20 yr old military guards to sadistic torturers. Morris interviews many of the convicted players. It's discouraging to find out how normal they are. Isn't that Morris's point, however, that anyone in that situation could have behaved the same?

Morris famously uses a camera device called "The Interrotron", which almost acts like a Skype conversation between himself and the interviewees. He used it at the High Output studio. On the big screen (or on your laptop), it adds the effect of having the interviewees staring down the audience as they talk. It's a little creepy. For the subject matter, it seems perfectly appropriate; we all have culpability here.

It can be difficult to sit through this film, but is well worth the investigation.

Final Score = A-

Coming Soon, updated...part 2!

Meanwhile, at Fenway Park --

No, it's not the sequel to Fever Pitch, it's Ben Affleck pulling out all the stops for his latest film, "The Town". Not only has he made some of the higher quality Boston movies of recent years, he's really good to his crew.

We cannot believe the speed with which the Boston Globe turned these photos around (the screening just ended!)... but hey! That's why they're paid and we're not.

Photos of "The Town" Premiere at Fenway Park, via the Boston Globe

And while we're at it, here's the Boston Globe's review of "The Town". We're not so lazy this time that we're going to skip reviewing it ourselves (coughFurryVengeangecough), we just haven't had the chance yet.

For extra fun, click on the Take 2 video. While it's not their best review, Ty Burr and Wesley Morris bicker better than any reviewers out there.

Coming Soon, updated...

Good afternoon, PAs --

We have two corrections to our recent posting regarding new releases:

1) "Valediction", aka "Locked In"

We had originally told you that this film would never be seen or heard from again... and we were dead wrong! It has a premier slated for the opening of the Boston Film Festival, this Friday, September 17.

Ticket information is HERE

(by the way, our friends from the crew say that the synopsis is completely misleading... but you'll have to go to see for yourself)

2) We forgot to mention "The Social Network",

aka The Facebook Movie. Aaron Sorkin, creator of "The West Wing" wrote a script about the making of Facebook... and it actually seems awesome. We should know... someone "loaned" us the script. They shot a few scenes over at Harvard, and the rest in LA. We're gonna call this a Boston movie anyway.

We're particularly looking forward to Justin Timberlake, who plays a cracked out wheeling-and-dealing Napster protege, Sean Parker; Timberlake should be bouncing off the walls with this character.

"The Social Network" comes out October 1st, in every single theater near you.

What to do in this situation...

Okay, Sparky, here's the deal:

Some of us follow the blogs and Facebook postings of fellow crew members. One Facebook page in particular, My Mom bought me a RED camera so now I'm a DP, is amusingly snarky. He recently posted the following picture and status update:

"Lame PA told me not take pics of their stupid movie set in Rhode Island. Some show called "Burden of Proof." I asked if Timmy Rubensteiner was the DP. Then said, "of course not, jackass cause that's me! Your movie sucks, I'm Audi 4k bitches!"

Okay, while we laughed at this, it brings up a common annoyance among Set PAs: what do you do if people are trying to take pictures and you're supposed to stop them?

Answer? Nothing.

Just because you signed a confidentiality agreement with your start paperwork, and just because it says "No photographs on set" on the call sheet, doesn't give you legal footing to stop others from taking pictures... Unless they're paparazzi, in which case go nuts and hit them with a C-stand. Getting arrested for that would be so worth it.

For the sake of keeping your job, however, you probably should ask the person with the camera to stop photographing... repeatedly. That way, you at least tried to do your job. If they don't there's really nothing you can do about it.

A nod to Philadelphia films

Welcome back from Labor Day weekend!

One of our contributing writers passed through Philadelphia this past weekend, and spotted something in their airport:

"In one of the long hallways between terminals -- I think it was terminal A -- they lined the whole thing with Philadelphia movie posters. You know, they've got all the Rocky movies, "The 6th Sense", all the other Shyamalan movies, "Witness", "12 Monkeys", "Philadelphia", and some other obscure ones I'd never heard of. There must have been a hundred of them -- it took up the entire length of the moving sidewalk."

What a great idea! In an entire airport full of historic landmark decor, movie posters add a fun twist to promoting the city. We think Logan Airport should steal this.

In fact, we would like an entire wall of movie posters right after you pass through security. Think about it: everybody's scrambling to put their shoes and belts back on... and we all feel a little sheepish after getting body scanned, frisked and molested. Wouldn't movie posters make a great distraction? Wouldn't it cheer you up to see tourists point at the "Jaws" poster and proclaim, "Well, I didn't know that was filmed here..."?

Hey Logan Airport... get on this!

Movie Review: Jaws (1975)

Duh-na. Duh-na.

The Somerville Theater and Coolidge Corner Theaters are both celebrating "Jaws" this month. And why not? It's local to Massachusetts. We've had more recent shark sightings around Boston than any summer in memory. And this year happens to be the 35th anniversary of "Jaws". Excellent!

This movie's been reviewed countless times, so instead we're going to look at what can happen when film making plans go awry. If the film crew is creative, they come up with genius improvisation; if not, you get Tommy Wisseau's "The Room".

Let's take a moment to recall another great film from 1975, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." As originally scripted, King Arthur and company ride horses. Unfortunately, when they looked at their funding, the Pythons didn't have the budget for that. Says Terry Gilliam, "I think the restrictions made the film better, because if we'd had the money for real horses there would have been no coconut shells, which are far funnier. So we were saved by poverty from the mediocrity to which we aspired!"

Meanwhile, over in Martha's Vineyard, Speilberg & co. were having terrible difficulty with their mechanical shark. It broke down a lot. The technical difficulties kept delaying filming.

(The mechanical shark, if you're wondering, was named "Bruce" -- Bruce later gets a nod from Pixar's vegetarian shark in "Finding Nemo")

Frustrated that they can't show Bruce as much as planned, Speilberg has to show us something else: the underwater, shark POV shot. Creepy. Unnerving. Genius. We're looking up at all those legs dangling. It's horrifying!

An Emerson film professor would have us go off on the whole voyeur element to these shots, how looking up at a skinny dipping girl from the killer's POV is like the shower scene in "Psycho". We'll spare you. Just know that this great film was made even better by technical difficulties, and go watch it again.

Happy 35th, Bruce! You can now run for president!

Final Score = A

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You!

Though 2010 brought very few film crews to the Boston area, we will soon be seeing the release of last summer's films. Keep an eye out for:

"The Town" -- September 17, 2010

A bank robbery film starring John Hamm and Ben Affleck, directed by Ben Affleck. We actually think this will be good.

"The Company Men" -- October 2010

Three men try to survive corporate downsizing... rather timely. Stars Tommy Lee Jones (please, please don't do the accent again!), Kevin Costner (he doesn't do accents, right?), and Ben Affleck.

"The Fighter" -- December 2010

This one is aiming for an Oscar nomination... can't you just smell it? Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg star as boxing brothers in the crack infested streets of Lowell. Based on the true story of Mickey Ward. This could potentially be an amazing film.

"The Zookeeper" -- June 2011

Perhaps there is a yearly quota on Kevin James movies. In this one, he plays a lonely zookeeper who can talk to the animals... when they start giving him love advice, a Kevin James movie ensues.

"Locked In" -- no release date

A sort of surreal mystery starring Ben Barnes and Eliza Dushku. We wonder if we will ever see this one in the theater.

Movie Review: The Proposal (2009)

We've reviewed films that shoot Boston-for-New York, Boston-for-Paris, Burlington-for-New Jersey... but here's a rare first: Gloucester, Massachusetts filmed to look like Sitka, Alaska.

Huh.

When you watch, "The Proposal", you don't recognize the backdrop as Massachusetts, for one key reason: Digitally added snow-capped mountains and glaciers. The VFX work was done by local post-production company, Brick Yard, and it's flawless. Well done, on with the review!

Sandra Bullock kicks off "The Proposal" by entering her NYC publishing company as her employees dive for cover: the same entrance, though not quite as effective, as in "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Working Girl". Fine, we get it, this establishes her as the bitchy boss (but not really -- has Sandra ever been bitchy?). Her underling, everyman's actor Ryan Reynolds, obediently fulfills her every whim... often while grumbling. This includes the title "proposal"; she forces a ridiculous marriage upon him to keep her US work visa. Now the pair must go to his hometown in Alaska to tell his parents.

We were prepared to hate on "The Proposal" as just another summer wedding movie, but this one actually has some classic romantic comic appeal. Bullock and Reynolds can banter, and it's very entertaining. Much of the charm comes from Reynolds. His character is cynical yet likeable, career driven yet still an angsty teenager around his father. It's fun to watch him gradually grow a spine.

The film does venture into the absurd gag every so often: a eagle kidnaps a puppy, an unattractive stripper takes things too far, Granny goes native, and so on. These moments of stupidity take away from what would otherwise be a well-acted film.

One final kudos: "The Proposal" cast Betty White as the grandmother, a whole year before her pop culture resurgence. As always, she's hilarious.

Final Score = B-

Housekeeping!

Hello readers,

We here at The Boston P.A. appreciate your readership, and wanted to say... thanks!

Lately, we're considering upgrading ourselves to an actual domain name, and we recognize that the quality of writing should improve if we do. From this post onward, we promise:

1) We will comb through posts for typos, spelling & grammar errors. Mind-blowing, we know!

2) Ban the phrase "It doesn't work" in all film reviews.

(or, ban the writer who keeps using it)

3) Ease on the Kevin James references. He's supposedly a great guy. For Kate Hudson and Nick Cage, however, it's still open season.

If you, readers, have anything you would like to see, we would consider your feedback as well. And thanks again for checking us out!

Friday Scoreboard

Happy Friday!

It's been a long, mostly production-less summer for Greater Boston. Other than this spring's romcom "What's Your Number" with Anna Farris, there haven't been any films in town. Is this the end of the Boston film industry? We really hope not.

Periodically, we post a scoreboard of all the movies we have reviewed thus far. As always, we grade on a curve. Here are the latest rankings:

A..... The Departed

A-.... The Friends of Eddie Coyle

A-.... Gone Baby Gone

A-.... Good Will Hunting

A-.... Shutter Island

B+.... Black Irish

B+.... Mystic River

B+.... School Ties

B...... Blown Away

B...... The Boondock Saints

B...... Edge of Darkness

B...... Love Story

B...... Monument Ave

B...... Overnight

B...... The Thomas Crown Affair

B-..... The Invention of Lying

C+.... Surrogates

C...... The Bostonians

C...... The Maiden Heist

C...... Paul Blart: Mall Cop

C-..... Alex & Emma

C-..... The Box

C-..... Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past

C-..... What's The Worst That Could Happen

D+.... Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

D+.... My Best Friend's Girl

D...... What Doesn't Kill You

D-..... Bride Wars

D-..... Furry Vengeance

D-..... The Women

F....... The Pink Panther 2

And for Not-Made-In-Boston Movie Reviews:

B- Practical Magic

D- Knowing

(click the links on the sidebar for our reviews of each film)

Movie Review: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

"Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" filmed locally in spring of 2008, alongside "Shutter Island", "Surrogates", "Bride Wars" and "The Proposal". Before judging the movie itself, we pause to be grateful for the surplus of jobs back then -- many of us got our start that spring.

We can honestly say this film -- for which we had low, low expectations -- is not as bad as "Bride Wars". It too has a wedding theme, complete with a stereotypical bridezilla, cat fighting bridesmaids and a gag where the wedding cake gets destroyed... but we didn't feel as icky after watching this one. Still, it would not make a good date night film, nor is it female friendly enough to be a chick flick. We don't know what this film is good for.

"Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" spins off Dicken's A Christmas Carol, where a loveless douchebag (Matthew McConaughey) must learn to appreciate long term relationships. Jennifer Garner plays his snappy childhood friend, and does a decent job here. Most of the actors manage to come out of this film with their dignity, with the exception of Michael Douglas. His pervy Jack Nicholson impression doesn't work. He was a much better slimeball in, oh let's say, every other movie he's been in.

The camera work is very distracting at times, as it suddenly starts panning around a dinner table or pulling out from a conversation for seemingly no reason. You'll note how rarely we bother to comment about cinematography; needless to say, it's bad here.

We weren't completely offended by this movie, but there isn't much purpose in seeing it. It's better than "Bride Wars", though we probably won't bother again with either of these films.

Final Score = C-

The Top 5 Summer activities of Bostonians... in the movies

It's another hot, sultry summer day... the kind when the humidity drives you crazy. It's enough to make a New Yorker throw a trash can through the pizza shop window.

In Boston, we have our own ways of handling the heat:

The TOP 5 SUMMER ACTIVITIES of Bostionians... in the movies.

5) ROMANTICALLY WALK THROUGH BOSTON PUBLIC GARDEN.

Nothing establishes Boston quicker than a walk-and-talk through the Boston Public Garden... unless you're chasing a girl and trying to apologize. Either way, this is a lovely way to spend the moments after your meet cute.

4) GO TO CHURCH.

Yes. Because, according to film lore, everybody in Boston is a devout Catholic. A lot of soul searching goes on in the summer. You might even run into the Boondock Saints.

3) GO TO THE BEACH, BUT DO NOT SWIM.

New Englanders like to go to the beach just to look at it (The Bostonians), or to make sand donuts with their sports cars (The Thomas Crown Affair), but we do not EVER go in the water. For starters, it's too cold. The waves aren't that great. There's pollution sometimes. Also, there's this:

Let's go swimming!

(Why haven't we reviewed THAT movie yet...? We will. Coming soon, Jaws!)

2) WATCH A PARADE.

Boston has plenty of summer festivities, from the 4th of July celebration, to the North End festivals, to the "Oh No, I Think I Just Killed My Husband Parade" that Marcia Gay Harden's character is marching in here.

And who doesn't love a parade?

1) FINALLY KILL THAT GUY YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO MURDER.

We know, we know, it's the lazy days of summer. But if you don't hurry up, pretty soon it's gonna be September, then October, and before you know it the ground will be too hard to dig that shallow grave (Practical Magic). It's best to just kill him now. Lure him up to a rooftop (The Departed), or over to the quarry (Gone Baby Gone), or into the back room of the bar (Monument Ave). Take advantage of the nice weather while it lasts.

So you want to be a Set PA...

Can you yell the word, "Rolling!" at the top of your lungs? Can you whisper it while making circular motions with your index finger? Can you block people from entering a door? Can you stand in the same place for 14 hours?

If you answered YES to all of these, you might want to consider a career as a Set PA. These are the production assistants who get to be closest to where the action is: they are the unofficial bouncers. As gatekeepers to the set, they get to see everyone -- the director, the producers, the crew, even the actors -- if for a fleeting moment as they walk past and ignore you.

Being a Set PA can be a bit lonesome, save for one thing: Because they wear a walkie and stand there looking like a poorly dressed secret service agent, they are most likely to have random people on the street approach them.

"What's going on here?" the random people will say, having astutely spotted the massive lights and the 3 blocks worth of trucks.

"We're filming a movie. Please don't walk through here," answers the hapless Set PA.

"Oh," say the random people. "Who's in it?"

At this point, it's the Set PAs decision to either explain the entire movie and answer a dozen follow up questions... or to pretend the film shoot is top secret. "I'm sorry, I can't talk about it." Ironically, the latter answer usually leaves the random people more satisfied.

On Vacation...

Pardon our sudden disappearance... we went on vacation. Actually, most of us are still on vacation, so posting will continue to be sparse. Apologies.

We would like to add that there are very few movies shooting in Boston this summer. Some of us are having to drive to Rhode Island for work... but even that isn't a sure thing. There's an ABC pilot going on in Providence, which is good, and a low budget feature that isn't paying their PAs, which is very bad. They call them "interns" and make them do our jobs. Unbelievable.

Should we start a PA union? Maybe when we get back from vacation.

Diet Coke

Happy Friday before the long weekend!

For those of us trapped in preproduction, today is dragging on like the last day of school. It's a beautiful day outside! Why won't the bell ring?

Meanwhile, we thought we'd take a quick moment to acknowledge the official drink of every movie production office: Diet Coke.

For some reason, producers and their underlings down this stuff like IV fluid. We've seen people drink up to 6 cans a day -- which has extreme results when mixed with our other official liquid sponsor, Starbucks lattes. Caffeine is how the movie gets made. It makes our world go round.

This detail -- producers screaming for Diet Coke -- was yet another reason why "Tropic Thunder" is an excellent movie. It's behind-the-scenes depictions were comically spot on. Les Grossman "will fuck you up"... when he's juiced up on Diet Coke.

We can't quite pick out what makes Diet Coke more addictive that regular Coke, or Diet Pepsi for that matter. Just know that the production fridge needs to have it. Tons of it.

Movie Review: Monument Ave (1998)

Adding to our collection of Boston Irish neighbor movies is the rough and racist “Monument Ave.” The film itself isn’t racist, but it honestly depicts some of the historically nastier attitudes that tend to get whitewashed over on St. Patrick’s Day. Denis Leary beats a black man just for walking into his neighborhood; if this seems unnecessarily brutal, we advise you do a Google image search for “The Soiling of Old Glory.”

The Boston neighborhood in question is Charlestown. This movie portrays Townies as universally addicted alcohol, cocaine and hockey. Leary and friends have a hilarious drug fueled conversation early on – if you’ve every thought it would be genius to videotape yourself and your friends drunk, it won’t top this scene.

The film takes a heavy turn soon after, and never comes back from the dark. Bullets aimed at snitching family members threaten neighborhood loyalties. “Monument Ave” slows at times, and interrupts itself with supposed childhood photos of the characters. The forced emotional poignancy doesn’t really work with the escalating violence. Denis Leary's character doesn’t seem the type to sit around with a slide projector.

Overall, the movie is well done. The dialogue is excellent, most of the acting is good, and it has nostalgic touches like the hand knit afghan on the couch. Hey! My Irish grandma used to knit those too! Still, this movie paints a bleak portrait. It’s a decent movie about some very un-decent people.

Final Score = B

Movie Review: The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)

Welcome to gritty 1970's Boston, home of our luckless antihero, Eddie Coyle. He's a perpetually broke, middle aged Quincy resident with three kids to feed. He smuggles and hijacks trucks to make ends meet. Poor Eddie, the perpetual criminal middle man, just can't catch a break.

Faced with a prison sentence for hijacking, Eddie tries desperately to help a detective in exchange for his freedom. More banks get robbed. Things go awry. The end is fantastic, but in a very unspectacular way.

The whole beauty of "The Friends of Eddie Coyle" is its subtle set ups and betrayals. It moves slowly, allowing the audience to watch every detail before the pay off. The suspense is terrific. The guns get passed around, and you just know one of them is going to get fired. Sooner or later, somebody will get shot... but when?

The people, the scenery, everything in this film is ugly... but in a very appealing way. This film can make a Dedham strip mall look interesting. That says a lot.

Final Score = A-

Friday Scoreboard

Happy Friday, on this sweltering hot day!

Periodically, we post a scoreboard of everything we have reviewed thus far. And, as always, we grade on a curve. Here are the latest rankings:

A..... The Departed

A-.... Gone Baby Gone

A-.... Good Will Hunting

A-.... Shutter Island

B+.... Black Irish

B+.... Mystic River

B+.... School Ties

B...... Blown Away

B...... The Boondock Saints

B...... Edge of Darkness

B...... Love Story

B...... Overnight

B...... The Thomas Crown Affair

B-..... The Invention of Lying

C+.... Surrogates

C...... The Bostonians

C...... The Maiden Heist

C...... Paul Blart: Mall Cop

C-..... Alex & Emma

C-..... The Box

C-..... What's The Worst That Could Happen

D+.... Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

D+.... My Best Friend's Girl

D...... What Doesn't Kill You

D-..... Bride Wars

D-..... Furry Vengeance

D-..... The Women

F....... The Pink Panther 2

And for Not-Made-In-Boston Movie Reviews:

B- Practical Magic

D- Knowing

(click the links on the sidebar for our reviews)

So you want to be a Wardrobe PA...

While we have a little down time between productions, we thought it would be nice to review what the different PA positions on the show do. Let's start with the Wardrobe PA.

The Costume / Wardrobe department typically has a lot of women working as dressers, dyers, seamstresses, etc. You might assume their PA position attracts a lot of fashion forward Lady Gaga fans. Actually, that's false.

Often the Wardrobe PA ends up being a straight male, and here's why: The Wardrobe PA has to move the clothing racks. They get quite heavy. Inevitably, there's gonna be an ill-placed flight of stairs between the fitting room and the wardrobe trailer. Male or female, do not go into this position assuming it's a lot of light work and frou frou shopping.

That said, there's also time spent at the malls returning unused items. I always felt really bad returning all those clothes -- especially if there was commission involved. The clerk often asks for the reason for the return, and it gets pretty old.

Being a Wardrobe PA, like any other department, will teach you a lot about the prep work that goes into any film. It will also get you on set from time to time. You're more likely to meet the actors than other departments, which for some is a perk. It's hard work, but if you're willing to do that, you'll probably have a good experience. Bonus, it never hurts to be a straight guy in a department with lots of women.

Movie Review: School Ties (1992)

Before Matt and Ben were Matt and Ben, and before they teamed up with Cole Hauser in "Good Will Hunting", these three unknowns played supporting actors to Brendan Fraser in "School Ties". Think about that. Then add a pre-"Scent of a Woman" Chris O'Donnell, a pre-"Rent" Anthony Rapp... this movie has quite a cast.

"School Ties" tackles the topic of anti-Semitism at a 1950's New England prep school. Fraser arrives as a poor, Jewish quarterback who tries to hide his faith from his WASPy new friends. They figure it out, discrimination ensues. We all learn a valuable lesson about tolerance in the end, right?

Though we assume that the Exeters and Andovers now have a significantly diverse student body, the current parallel would be homophobia. You can't help but think of that while watching "School Ties" -- with all it's fighting naked in the locker room scenes, and shirtless dancing in the all boys dorm. This had to be intentional on the director's part. The homo-eroticism is a little distracting, maybe, but effective in getting you to sympathize with the role of the Outsider.

New England gets the pastoral treatment for this film -- autumn colors, brick school buildings, rolling farmland hills, white steeples. It's a little Thomas Kinkade, but fair enough... we couldn't figure out which prep school they filmed this at since so many of them look like that.

"School Ties" is a well made film with good acting across the board, and a visual sense of time and place.

Final Score = B+

The Top 5 New Yorkers that we like

There's a lot of talk about city rivalries these days, especially now that the Celtics and Lakers are playing another NBA final. Sure, half of us move to LA for production jobs, and sure the Dodgers have become a retirement community for former Red Sox darlings... but come on. We're 3000 miles apart. Boston vs. LA doesn't really exist.

Meanwhile, to the south... the mud flinging between Boston and New York is constant. I was in a club this weekend, and when "Empire State of Mind" played people actually booed the DJ. Yeah, it's like that. Luckily, it's more of a Love-Hate rivalry than a full blown feud. In the name of diplomacy, we decided to create the following:

TOP 5 NEW YORKERS WE BOSTONIANS LIKE

(Our criteria for this is people born in New York who have done something for Boston or our film community as a whole. The converse of this would be Denis Leary -- a Massachusetts native who champions the NYFD and makes quality television in New York. Good guy...)

5. Amy Ryan

She comes from Queens, but managed to score an Oscar nomination for her Boston accent. It was a gritty role -- a Southie welfare junkie in "Gone Baby Gone" -- and there were so many ways Ryan could have screwed it up. She gave the character dignity where many others would have made a caricature. Well done.

4. Bridget Moynahan

Moynahan was born in NY, but eventually moved to the Springfield/Longmeadow hood, then back

to NY, back to Boston, LA, etc. She had Tom Brady's baby, which gives her instant street credit around here, BUT, that is not why she made our list.

Moynahan starred opposite Donnie Wahlberg in the locally produced tv pilot, "Bunker Hill." When that didn't get picked up, we were delighted to see her and Wahlberg give it a second go with the upcoming series, "Blue Bloods". She has a baby with Tom Brady and she likes to work with Donnie Wahlberg? That's just outstanding!

3. Martin Scorsese

We love having the legendary director in town because we know that: A) It's gonna be big budget, B) We'll get several extra months of work out of it since his shoots always run so long, and C) The movie is going to be excellent.

Scorsese may be a New Yorker through and through, but his films make Boston look good. We have no problem working a 23 hour shift for him any day!

2. Adam Sandler & Kevin James

Sandler & James have employed hundreds of us for their goofy comedies, be it "Mall Cop," "Grown Ups" or the upcoming "The Zookeeper." They're generally fun to work for, set their films in cool locations, and can draw half a dozen SNL cast members to the set as needed. Please, please come back this summer...?

1. Alec Baldwin

Not only do we like Alec Baldwin, but we're pretty sure he likes us too. Any fan of "30 Rock" could recite the many way's his character gives us backhanded nods: Jack Donaghy grew up in Southie, paid his way though Harvard Business School as a swan boat operator, he and his high school sweetheart created a taffy flavor of peanut butter and Miller High Life... (okay, that last part isn't really Boston, but it's funny).

Baldwin brought the much needed comic relief to two Boston movies -- "The Departed" and "My Best Friend's Girl" (the latter needed it more). He lent his vocals to the Boston Pops tribute to the Kennedys.

How has he not won a Hasty Pudding award yet?

Best of all, Baldwin does not use a crappy Boston accent for his characters. Thank you. At least one person realizes that we don't all talk like that.

Movie Review: Overnight (2003)

We've been telling people how we recently sat through "Boondock Saints II." Several of them countered with, "Have you seen 'Overnight' yet?"

This making of "The Boondock Saints" documentary is glorious trainwreck. The camera starts rolling just after Boondock's writer-director-problem drinker, Troy Duffy, has inked a deal with Harvey Weinstein. He's the new Hollywood It Boy.

Unfortunately, Troy's also what we Bostonians like to call "Wicked Retahded." Plus, he's an asshole. At age 25, he sees himself as God's gift to media. He doesn't acknowledge his lucky break with Weinstein, and instead attributes it to his lifetime of hard work. Um... you're 25, Troy.

Worse than his epic ego is Troy's lack of appreciation for anybody else: his band, his family, his executive producer. He hoards money from them. The verbal insults fly out of him like a guest on Jerry Springer. It's fascinating... you find yourself disgusted but unable to look away. Troy screams and insults until finally all his bridges burn. The movie loses its funding. The band gets dropped from its record label. Call it schadenfreude, perhaps, but this is a deeply satisfying conclusion.

Thank God the cameras just happened to be rolling this whole time. They even managed to capture Troy Duffy's recreation of the "I am a Golden God" pool dive from the roof. We can think of few films with such a dislikable and ridiculous protagonist; we can't think of any that are actual documentaries. Well done, EPK guys (or whatever purpose you started making this for).

Final Score = B

Movie Review: Surrogates (2009)

Let's take a moment to consider the comic book movie genre. When one of these films works (Batman, X-men, Sin City, etc.), usually it has strong character development and a clear sense of the mission. When it fails (Watchmen, The Hulk), we leave the theater reminded that reliance on CGI action sequences does not replace a good story.

This brings us to "Surrogates." At 89 minutes running time, it has a lot of ground to cover, and quickly. It doesn't work. We don't get a lot of back story, so we never really feel connected to the hero. He chases the bad guy through a landfill; we shrug. Characters explain away the details of the plot instead of us actually getting to watch them in action. Remember your teacher saying, "Show, don't tell"? This film mostly tells.

On the positive side, "Surrogates" has a very sleek production design. Boston initially looks dark and futuristic, just as you would hope for in a comic book movie. A car zips through the Seaport and Fort Point district, and you think you are watching "Batman."

Bruce Willis is very bland as FBI agent Tom Greer. There are whispers that he and his entourage were completely juvenile to have around the set -- catcalling female crew members and taunting people. Maybe if his surrogate had been a 17 yr old hockey player, it might have been a more convincing film.

Final Score = C+

Friday Scoreboard

Happy Friday, Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Periodically, we post a scoreboard of everything we have reviewed thus far. And, as always, we grade on a curve. Here are the latest rankings:

A..... The Departed

A-.... Gone Baby Gone

A-.... Good Will Hunting

A-.... Shutter Island

B+.... Black Irish

B+.... Mystic River

B...... Blown Away

B...... The Boondock Saints

B...... Edge of Darkness

B...... Love Story

B...... The Thomas Crown Affair

B-.....The Invention of Lying

C...... The Bostonians

C...... The Maiden Heist

C...... Paul Blart: Mall Cop

C-..... Alex & Emma

C-..... The Box

C-..... What's The Worst That Could Happen

D+.... Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

D+.... My Best Friend's Girl

D...... What Doesn't Kill You

D-..... Bride Wars

D-..... Furry Vengeance

D-..... The Women

F....... The Pink Panther 2

And for Not-Made-In-Boston Movie Reviews:

B- Practical Magic

D- Knowing

(click the links on the sidebar for our reviews)

A not-so-productive Production Outlook

Good morning PA campers,

We are aware that the Local 481 keeps their members informed of the "Production Outlook", by which they mean "What shows are coming to town". Being Facebook friendly with many of their members allows us to hear what they hear.

So what are we hearing? Not much.

There's one show already filming, "What's Your Number", that crewed up back in April. Other than that, however, things don't look too good. There might be a few commercials, but those jobs don't last very long. Two rumored Adam Sandler movies pulled out of Massachusetts. Sigh. We're going to miss Kevin James.

Hang in there, mighty PAs, and if you happen to get a job offer from Starbucks or your old summer camp, take it!

Movie Review: The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)

For a bit of fun Boston nostalgia, go find a copy of the 1968 version of "The Thomas Crown Affair". Steve McQueen plays a bored playboy millionaire who enjoys the thrill of robbing banks; Faye Dunaway plays the sultry insurance investigator who strokes his bishop (chess reference...really). Let the sexually tense cat and mouse caper begin.

While not necessarily action packed, this film does a good job of setting that old school mood. It fragments into split screens so we can follow various characters as the crime unfolds. The music is overdramatic and cheesy. Sex scenes blur into technicolor swirls. And so goes the 1960s.

More interesting, however, is Boston circa 1968. Every exterior shot looks familiar, but different -- a downtown building where it shouldn't be, strange signage over the Mass Pike tolls, ancient Boston Police cars that were actually station wagons! Spotting the little changes kept us thoroughly entertained.

This movie has inspired us to finally go visit Mount Auburn cemetery -- not for the scenery or the famous tombstones, but in the hopes that somebody might drop off $2.6 million in a trash can.

Overall, the movie is pretty good, but definitely a relic of a different time.

Final Score = B

Boston's Top 5 Best Onscreen Hitmen

Boston has its share of crime dramas filmed here (because not everything can be a Kevin James movie). Based on this genre alone, it would seem our beloved city has some excellent hitmen. Here are our Top 5 favorites:

THE TOP FIVE BEST HITMEN OF BOSTON FILMS

Runner up - Will Hunting (played by Matt Damon),

"Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season"

Not a real movie.

We just love having excuses to play this clip: Good Will Hunting 2

5) Mr. French (played by Ray Winstone), "The Departed"

Not actually his real name... just happens to look like another guy named Mr. French. He's not so much sociopathic as morally neutral about killing people. It's just a job. Almost makes you admire his loyalty to the company. While Mr. French seems to have an understated sense of humor, you really don't want to be pissing him off... or owing him money... or cheating on him.

4) Ryan Gaerity (played by Tommy Lee Jones), "Blown Away"

While technically not working for hire anymore, the amount of planning Ryan Gaerity puts into your death makes him mentionable. He's not going to just shoot you from a distance; he's going to elaborately blow you up. Like all good hitmen, he can slip into locked places almost effortlessly, never seems to need money for ammunition, and can untraceably vanish when the police start investigating. Now that's a professional.

3) Il Duce (played by Billy Connolly), "The Boondock Saints"

While the Saints themselves make captivating hitmen, the real master is Il Duce. He enters the film from a shadowy, mysterious prison dungeon, akin to Sean Connery's entrance in "The Rock" (what is it about older Scottish prisoners that they are kept down the darkest deepest corridors?). After that, you'll see 12 flying bullets before you even realize he's there. Silent. Deadly. Dresses like a comic book villain.

2) Darius Jedburg (played by Ray Winstone), "Edge of Darkness"

He's the man who keeps you from connecting A to B. He can sit and have a calm conversation with you, then unexpectedly shoot you. Also, he's very good at Latin. He likes the finer things, like drinking wine on park benches in East Boston. Classy! Originally, this role was played by Robert DeNiro, who dropped off the project after a few days of shooting. Congrats to Ray Winstone, for making our list twice!

1) Staff Sgt. Sean Dignam (played by Mark Wahlberg), "The Departed"

When this guy goes on leave from work, he certainly knows how to kill the time. He can out trash talk Alec Baldwin's FBI agent, and doesn't blink at Jack Nicholson's mafia king. The ultimate bad cop. I would not want to find Sgt. Dignam standing in my apartment with bags on his feet. After all, he's "the guy who does his job." You don't want to be the other guy.

Movie Review: The Boondock Saints II, All Saints Day (2009)

We don't expect sequels to be as fresh as their originals. However, every so often a sequel is so horrible that it pulls the entire series down with it ("Ocean's 12"? "The Crow: City of Angels"? You're also on notice).

We give you: The Bondoock Saints II, All Saints Day.

Why... why did they make this movie???

The MacManus twins are back -- older, rougher (dare we say uglier). They pick up a new ethnic sidekick, who doesn't prove to be particularly competent or entertaining -- his character reminds us of the Latino cliches you might find in the WWE. Judd Nelson randomly shows up as a mafia heir. He announces there'll be cracking skulls, in case anyone forgot that he was in "The Breakfast Club". On the legal side, Willem Dafoe's flamboyantly fun FBI agent has been replaced by an annoying know-it-all, special agent Eunice Bloom. Nice attempt at breaking up the sausagefest, but she's just awful.

Bad new characters, stupid dialogue, and a nonsensical plot (frequently interrupted by dream sequences, non-linear plot explanations, and flashbacks) and this movie just doesn't work. The cool of the original is gone. In fact, we've actually decided to lower our score of the original:

This sequel made us take pause and realize that the Saints post-modern campiness may have been accidental. They just don't make slow motion shoot outs like they used to... for a reason.

A few B-role exterior shots, plus tv news updates by local sportsguy Joe Amorosino, try to make this look like a Boston film. It's not. Just like its original, this film was shot primarily in Toronto. While we locals all would have appreciated the work, maybe its best not to have our fingerprints on this one.

(Still... we hope they consider how cheap it is to film here when they inevitably make a third Boondock movie....)

Final Score = D+

PAs working alongside the Unions

As a PA, you may get asked by your department head to do certain things on set, only to get yelled at by one of the union guys. We've seen it happen a lot, and it's usually not your fault.

Say, maybe, you're an Art Department PA. The Production Designer calls, and we need that huge window dressing at the set, asap! You struggle to fit it into your car. You frantically drive to some obscure location and pull up in front. As you try to drag this huge, heavy thing out of your backseat, one of the Teamsters taps you on the shoulder. "You shouldn't be driving that," he'll inform you.

Then, as you lug it into the set and put it to where your boss points, one of the IATSE guys taps you on the shoulder. "You shouldn't be doing that," he'll inform you. What's going on here?

As PAs, we can not be doing work designated for Union members. This usually includes driving things to set, painting walls, decorating the sets, heavy lifting on set, building, rigging, etc. The Union members get paid better than you to do these things, and they have health benefits if they get hurt. Let them do it.

In more hectic moments, your boss may forget what you can and can't do. A very diplomatic way to remind them is to ask, "Will I get yelled at if the union guys see me doing that?" If they tell you to proceed, then you're probably okay (or at least they'll get yelled at instead of you).

Good luck!

Movie Review: The Box (2009)

When we heard that Richard Kelly, of "Donnie Darko" fame, was making a movie in Boston, we thought, "Quick, get the Coolidge Corner Theatre on the phone!!" Then we found out Arcade Fire would be doing the soundtrack, and we thought, "Wow! Alert that 'Stuff White People Like' blog asap! This could be epic!"

It wasn't. The resulting movie, "The Box", drags along like a poorly paced X-Files episode. It has unexplained portholes, zombie-like library enthusiasts, creepy teens with bloody noses... all the makings of something interesting that unfortunately don't amount to much. Can we get the rabbit from Darko in here somewhere? A little suspense, please?

"The Box" is set in Virginia in the 1970s: Cameron Diaz puts on a twang, and there's still leaves on the trees at Christmas... that's Southern? Not really, and it's definitely not Boston.

If you were expecting a great cult classic, don't. Lightening doesn't strike the same place twice.

Final Score = C-

Mommy Dearest

We here at The Boston Production Assistant wanted to take a moment to honor the mothers of Boston cinema (it being the day after mother's day and all). Trouble is, for plot device purposes, a lot of the mothers are dead.

Seriously, are these Disney movies? Where the hell are the main characters' mothers? We're talking to you, Good Will Hunting, The Departed, My Best Friend's Girl, Edge of Darkness, Knowing, The Boondock Saints.... Talk about screenplay cliche.

Worse still, the remaining films give us a barrage of abusive dysfunctional Boston mothers. Really? Is it that hard to create a supportive mother character? Fine. If that's all you're giving us, we're going to do this:

THE TOP FIVE WORST MOTHERS OF BOSTON MOVIES

5) Catherine Frazier (played by Candace Bergen), "The Women"

When her adult daughter finds out her husband is having an affair, Catherine advises her to just bend over and take it. Don't confront your husband. Go shopping instead. Here's some money, darling... Because a manicure and handbags make up for spousal betrayal. God, this movie sucked.

4) Mrs. Paul Blart, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

She married Paul Blart for the green card, then abandoned him and their daughter to a life of loneliness and adult onset diabetes. Ouch. That's a terribly selfish mother.

3) Margaret McKay (played by Melissa Leo), "Black Irish"

Margaret's your hardworking, hard drinking type -- which we respect. However, her rigid Catholicism makes life hell for her unwed pregnant daughter. She forbids an abortion, tries to send the girl away, and eventually ends up hitting her. Margaret's created a damned if you do anything at all situation.

2) Helene McCready (played by Amy Ryan), "Gone Baby Gone"

Dumb, white trash + serious drug addiction + 3 year old child = DSS intervention... except somehow here it doesn't. Helene McCready exemplifies every argument for forced sterilization, but we're cheering for her for most of the movie. That poor kid.

1) Rachel Solando, "Shutter Island"

There's bad parenting, and then there's bad parenting that lands you in an asylum for the criminally insane. Yes, we've seen what happens with dear Rachel, and no, we're not spoiling it for you.

To all mothers, a belated Happy Mothers Day, and thank you for never acting like the above characters.

Scoreboard!

Happy Friday, especially to the few of us who are working. Hope you got the weekend off!

Periodically, we post a scoreboard of everything we have reviewed thus far. Before you even ask, Yes, we grade on a curve. Here are the latest rankings:

A..... The Departed

A-.... Gone Baby Gone

A-.... Good Will Hunting

A-.... Shutter Island

B+.... Black Irish

B+.... Mystic River

B...... Blown Away

B...... The Boondock Saints

B...... Edge of Darkness

B...... Love Story

B-..... The Invention of Lying

C...... The Bostonians

C...... The Maiden Heist

C...... Paul Blart: Mall Cop

C-..... Alex & Emma

C-..... What's The Worst That Could Happen

D+.... My Best Friend's Girl

D...... What Doesn't Kill You

D-..... Bride Wars

D-..... Furry Vengeance

D-..... The Women

F....... The Pink Panther 2

And for Not-Made-In-Boston Movie Reviews:

B- Practical Magic

D- Knowing

(click the links on the sidebar for our reviews)