Review: Love Story (1970)

We're going old school today -- before any of us here at The Boston Production Assistant were born! This is supposedly a classic, nominated for the Best Picture Oscar, "Love means never having to say you're sorry", etc.

Whereas, we're like, "Hey, it's the dad from Bones!"

Love Story, if nothing else, is very appropriately named: a rich Harvard hockey player has a meetcute with a poor Radcliffe librarian, they banter sarcastically, they run around in the snow, they get married, they work blue collar jobs to put him through Harvard law, he graduates, they try to have kids, she dies, he's sad. Done. All this is accomplished by the age of 25.

It's not amazing, but it's not bad. Granted, this blog grades on a curve. The two main characters are (annoyingly) realistic as Harvard students: She's self-righteous, sarcastic and outspoken; he has Daddy issues. We know people like Jenny and Oliver... we just don't hang out with them.

We were slightly amused to discover that most famous line comes from a moment when Jenny's locked herself out of their apartment. Random. Also, their apartment in Cambridge costs $80 per month! Wow, times have changed-- can't even get a shared sublet in Somerville for that!

We also like that Roger Ebert called out the film cliche of "Ali MacGraw's disease":

"Movie illness in which the only symptom is that the sufferer grows more beautiful as death approaches."

Nicole Kidman had the same thing in Moulin Rouge. Must be going around.

Final Score: B

Boston vs. the Paparazzi

In the previous post, we mentioned an incident where a PA was pushed down a flight of stairs by the paparazzi. This is highly uncommon. The photographer in question supposedly had flown in from LA and was apparently unfamiliar with what some might call "civility."

Boston, to our knowledge, does not have its own core of paparazzi. This is a good thing. It reminds us that, say, Katie Holmes standing in line at a Starbucks is NOT more important than the cancer-fighting MGH surgeon in line behind her. Nor is she better than the future rocket scientist, MIT-attending barista who makes her coffee.

We'd like to brag that this city has its priorities in the right place, but there's always exceptions. Take for example, Billy Costa, of Kiss 108fm. He merrily broadcasted the time and location of the Shutter Island wrap party (thus ensuring the stars would not be attending). Thanks a lot for that. Others at the Globe and the Phoenix, etc., make a living writing celebrity spottings, but luckily this is never front page news.

Let's keep it that way.

Review: My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

To prepare for a viewing of this movie, we first read the Boston Globe's scything review:

My Best Friend's Girl

Thus, with expectations lowered to 1 star, we proceeded.

It wasn't unbearable. There were parts that made us laugh, if briefly. It also has its cringe-worthy gags (the eyebrow shaving bit, etc.). The characters in this movie act exactly as expected: Jason Biggs's guy is the clumsy, unlucky dork; Kate Hudson tosses her blond locks and makes sarcastic comments that aren't quite funny enough; Alec Baldwin plays a slimeball; Dane Cook is, well, Dane Cook. No surprises.

Says one former PA, "Good Luck Chuck came out in the middle of filming this, and that got slammed, so we kinda knew what we were in for. Then Dane started doing those (MLB) 'There's Only One October' commercials, and you could feel the backlash building."

Also during filming, Kate Hudson's ex, Owen Wilson, attempted suicide -- drawing national tabloid media attention to her. Rumor has it that a paparazzi chasing her on a Comm Ave location pushed a set PA down a flight of steps. Supposedly he broke both his arms, though have yet to confirm this. Paparazzi -- and US Weekly -- are hazardous to our livelihoods. Stop buying crap magazines, people! (There are some additional thoughts for Kate Hudson on the previous post. )

For injuring a PA, and general unfunniness:

Final Score = D+

A Letter to Kate Hudson

Dear Ms. Hudson,

You've visited Boston recently with both "My Best Friend's Girl" and "Bride Wars." A few of us had the chance to work with you on those projects, and we have the following thoughts:

1) We want to like you. You seem likeable. The thing is, you don't seem to like us. It hurts. See, we've worked with a lot of actors, and they genuinely make an effort to talk to us (Christopher Walken), eat lunch with the crew (Mark Ruffalo), joke around about sports rivalries (Leo DiCaprio), or buy us little eco-friendly presents (Cameron Diaz). We love working with them. We tell all of our friends how great they are. With you, it seems like you're avoiding eye contact.

2) Keep bringing the work to Boston, by all means, but can they be quality movies? "My Best Friend's Girl" was such a dude flick, and "Bride Wars" was just catty. You deserve better roles; our city deserves better films. This would be a mutually beneficial arrangement.

3) Stop dating A-Rod.

4) Seriously. We hate A-Rod. To the average Bostonian, it's like you're dating Saddam Hussein. If you're planning to come back here to film again, please make sure you've broken up. There is no room for negotiation here.

Thank you for your time and we hope to see you, minus A-Rod, around town some time in the future.

Sincerely,

The Boston Production Assistants

Review: Good Will Hunting (1997)

This is the movie that made filming in Southie cool.

Most of us who are currently PAs are too young to have worked on this classic... but we all have fond memories of yelling "How do you like dem apples?" at our junior high/ high school classmates. This movie started the Six Degrees of Matt Damon/Ben Affleck -- in which everybody in town traced their personal connection to these two actors: "My friend's cousin goes to Newton North and knows some guys on the baseball team and the coach is Matt Damon's father... One time he came by to get the car keys, and the whole school freaked!"... etc.

Ah, the memories.

The movie itself is spectacular. A bunch of guys driving around in a beat up car never looked so good. Being a janitor at MIT never looked so good. Harassing douchey Harvard undergrads at the bar never felt so good... And it led to one of the greatest movie parodies in memory: Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

Sadly, this film was up against Titanic in nearly every Oscar category, and lost out to Propeller Man on most counts. Matt and Ben got their trophies for writing the screenplay. They managed to thank almost everybody in Boston, individually.

Minor deductions for Robin Williams horrible pronunciation of the word "Fart".

FINAL SCORE = A-

Review: The Pink Panther 2 (2009)

I hate to slam the film after one of our PA friends said how cool it was for him to work for his idol, Steve Martin, but... this movie is terrible. Awful. We are all dumber for this movie's existence.

The original Pink Panther series was made in the 60s and 70s -- around the same era as all those grindhouse and blaxsploitation films. They were full of bumbling, sexist, racist characters. Inspector Clouseau beats on his Chinese houseboy, and everybody laughs. Send in the hot secretary for sex! The 60s were an interesting time.

If you wanted to revive this series, why not go Austin Powers style? Instead, the Pink Panther 2 takes all the campy xenophobia and sets it in the present day. It doesn't play anymore. At best, The Pink Panther 2 is annoying and stupid. At worst, there were probably children that left the theater spewing outdated racial slurs.

I'm angry at this movie. It took legendary actors and made them look like jackasses. Steve Martin, fine, go ahead and humiliate yourself... but Alfred Molina? Andy Garcia? Leon... the Professional? Why? Why did you do this to yourselves?

This movie shot here in the summer of 2007, but the plot takes place in Paris; the locations don't look anything like Boston. Thank God. We don't want credit for this.

Final Score = F

Know your Locals!

Working on a movie set, you inevitably will meet many people who are union members. Here's a quick guide of which people do what:

Teamsters Local 25 - These guys drive and are responsible for all the vehicles used on set, including crew shuttle vans, "star cars" for celebrity actors, wardrobe trucks, catering trucks, grips trucks... the list goes on and on. They are local to Boston and northern New England. My experience, as a female, is that they're generally tough-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold types. My coworker, who is male, would like to add, "Don't ever fuck with the Teamsters."

IATSE Local 161 - These are your production office people: the Production Coordinator, APOC, the Accounting department, and Script Supervisor. This local is run out of New York, but covers the New England region.

IATSE Local 481 - This union represents a whole slew of departments, including (in no particular order) Art, Grips, Wardrobe, Electrics, Props, Special Effects, Set Dressing, Greens, Construction... I'm forgetting some here -- and I apologize. 481 covers New England, but not New York.

IATSE 600, International Cinematographers Guild - This is the Camera department's union. This is not a New England based local, so you'll run into 600 members in New York and beyond.

United Scenic Artists 829 - These are the artists who do everything from elaborate production designs to painting walls. You'll often see them covered in paint splatter... lovely people. The 829 covers New England, New York and beyond.

There's also SAG for actors, DGA for directors, WGA for writers, and the PGA for producers. These people are "above the line" and tend to get flown in from LA.

Review of a Non-Boston Movie: Knowing (2009)

KNOWING! A movie set in the Boston area, that clearly was NOT filmed in the Boston area. It uses a lot of shoddy VFX and greenscreen. Major location give aways include unrecognizable landmarks, the "Ice Cold Beer" sign at the rest stop convenience store (not legal here), trucks in the background that appear to be driving on the left, and, oh, a major car accident scene set on hill-less terrain so flat you can see the horizon. It's not New England. It's not even the United States.

Meanwhile in Melbourne, Australia... Nicholas Cage will be furrowing his brow and delivering monotone predictions about the pending apocalypse. It's hard to take seriously. We started heckling about halfway through the film. If only Bruce from the Family Guy had been in this (Everybody else on Earth is going to die? "Oh noooo!").

We will half-heartedly give kudos to "Knowing" for digitally blowing up the city of Boston. Usually, movies like to blow up New York, or Washington DC. Our blown-up city envy needed to be addressed, so thank you. Melbourne thanks you too.

We give this movie an Aussi Salute, and not much else.

Final Score = D-

Review: The Departed (2006)

Finally, we get to review a good Boston movie!

Martin Scorsese's "The Departed" was made before the Massachusetts film tax credit came into play... which means, unfortunately, that this was mostly shot in New York. Digressions. It's a great movie about Boston. Sort of.

Yes, we know, this is not a Whitey Bulger biopic. It's based on a Hong Kong film called "Infernal Affairs", which was then adapted by local guy William Monahan. Good job, especially with everything that came out of Mark Wahlberg's mouth.

We have to get really nit-picky to find things we dislike about this movie... and they mostly involve the Madolyn subplot (and her work wardrobe!). Oh, OH, and the stupid digital rat in the last shot. Even the Ralph Wiggum knew better. "The rat symbolizes obviousness."

Meanwhile, "The Departed" zips us around the city in dark cars, blasting the Rolling Stones and introducing the Dropkick Murphys' "Shipping Up To Boston." We crank it up every time we drive over the Zakim bridge at night, or watch Papelbon dance around in his underwear. The Alec Baldwin vs. Mark Wahlberg dialogues, gun fights where everybody dies, and Jack Nicholson's general creepiness... we like this movie a lot.

Our friends on the crew reported long, perfectionist Scorsese shoots. Supposedly the night filming in Chinatown was so hot and humid that they had to pump hot steam out of tubes to create the haze. Must have smelled horrible. Add Matt Damon, running in heavy fall/winter wardrobe, and... well, that's why they pay him the big bucks.

We'd love to give this a Dignam "Whoop-de-fucking-do", but instead:

Final Score = A

Boston Area Construction Vendors

Your production office probably has these companies on file, but it's always worth knowing who can do what in the Boston area. This list is primarily geared towards construction/grips/spfx departments:

Backstage Hardware & Theater Supply

617-330-1422

21 Drydock Ave #1

Boston MA 02210

(wire spools, gaffer tape, fog machine fluid)

Burnett & Moynihan Lumber

781-284-0055

43 Foster St

Revere, MA 02151

(lumber, homosote, rubber roofing)

Cahill Design

617-737-3232

800-626-1127

21 Dry Dock Ave

Boston MA 02210

(mannequin busts, wardrobe supplies)

Ferguson

Street: 121 North Beacon Street

Brighton, ma 02135-2008

Phone: (617) 562-5146

Fax: (617) 562-5191

(plumbing supplies, pipe fittings)

Grainger

617-541-0400

1 Harbor St #2

South Boston

(tools, etc.)

High Output

781-364-1841

495 Turnpike St

Canton, MA 02021

(expendibles)

MARR

617 - 269 - 7200

1 D Street

South Boston, MA 02127

(forklifts, cranes)

NES

617-268-3000

346 D Street

South Boston, MA 02127

(forklifts, gators, equipment)

Rent All

978-744-4600

475 Highland Ave

Salem, MA 01970

(small equipment rental)

St. Pierre Manufacturing

508-853-8010

317 E. Mountain St.

Worcester, MA 01606

(ropes, chains, fire ladders, cable)

Tolman MFG

617-268-1025

fx: 617-268-1029

61 Dorcester Ave

Boston, MA 02127

(methane, welding gases)

United Rentals (Boston)

617 - 445 - 6700

133 South Hampton St

(lifts, small machine rentals)

United Staging

781-821-3092

96 Commerce Way

Woburn, MA 01801

(truss, expendibles)

Review: What Doesn't Kill You (2008)

"What Doesn't Kill You" aka Real Men Cry was shot in Southie and Brighton at the end of 2007. It was produced by the now bankrupted Yari Film Group, and went straight to DVD in 2008.

It's your quintessential cliche Boston flick: A Irish-American kid from South Boston struggles to do the right thing. He has a wise-cracking, streetsmart friend. He gets in a brawl or starts a life of crime. He becomes estranged from his loved ones. He finds redemption. Everybody has quasi-Southie accent. Haven't I seen this before? (Good Will Hunting/Boondock Saints/The Departed/Southie)

Oh, this one's based on a true story? A local guy wrote it? Fine. We're sorry we called it cliche then.

"What Doesn't Kill You" could have been a decent movie. It's gritty and has pretty good performances... but it's not enough to rescue the film from bad editing. There's no rhythm or suspense here. It's hard to follow the plot the way it abruptly jumps from scene to scene, until you get the following audience exchange:

"What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know and I don't really care anymore."

The crew worked their asses off in cold and snow to make this film. "What Doesn't Kill You" had the additional challenge of filming during the 2007 writers strike. Perhaps a few draft revisions would have saved things. We'll never know.

Final Score = D

Review: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

If anyone ever wondered about that time the Burlington Mall still had its Christmas displays up in April, your answer is "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" shot here in spring 2008, and went into theaters in early 2009 (oddly skipping the Christmas season in which it is set). The local premier was held for crew members at The Museum of Fine Arts Boston. Fine art, this film is not. It did, however, go on to win the box office its opening weekend. Well done.

We here have mixed feelings about "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." To anybody over age 10, this is a terrible movie. It is stupid and predictable: The everyman against all odds. Slapstick comedy ensues. He gets the girl. He saves the day. There's a montage.

You know what a great pitch line for this might have been?

"A fat guy with a creepy moustache battles skate boarding ninjas... in a mall!"

See? Sounds kinda cool now. Hipsters would go see it... ironically, of course. Actually, we can't completely hate on this film. It's a kids movie. A mediocre one, but it could be worse.

If behind the scenes crew videos leaked to Youtube are an indicator, the film crew had a lot of fun making this: Mall Squad!

Makes up for the crappy work hours. They started shooting every night after the mall closed and shot until morning when the mall reopened. Basically nobody had a social life while making this film. Kinda appropriate, considering the main character.

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" is a bland kid's action movie (with a heart of gold!). Everyone we heard from said that Kevin James is a nice guy, so extra points for that. Overall though, we wouldn't watch this again.

Final Score = C