You've visited Boston recently with both "My Best Friend's Girl" and "Bride Wars." A few of us had the chance to work with you on those projects, and we have the following thoughts:
1) We want to like you. You seem likeable. The thing is, you don't seem to like us. It hurts. See, we've worked with a lot of actors, and they genuinely make an effort to talk to us (Christopher Walken), eat lunch with the crew (Mark Ruffalo), joke around about sports rivalries (Leo DiCaprio), or buy us little eco-friendly presents (Cameron Diaz). We love working with them. We tell all of our friends how great they are. With you, it seems like you're avoiding eye contact.
2) Keep bringing the work to Boston, by all means, but can they be quality movies? "My Best Friend's Girl" was such a dude flick, and "Bride Wars" was just catty. You deserve better roles; our city deserves better films. This would be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
3) Stop dating A-Rod.
4) Seriously. We hate A-Rod. To the average Bostonian, it's like you're dating Saddam Hussein. If you're planning to come back here to film again, please make sure you've broken up. There is no room for negotiation here.
Thank you for your time and we hope to see you, minus A-Rod, around town some time in the future.
Sincerely,
The Boston Production Assistants
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